SELF-ESTEEM: TAKE STEPS TO FEEL BETTER

Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every facet of your life, including your relationships, your job, and your health. That is why it is important to boost your self-esteem and take necessary steps to feel better.

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1. Identify troubling conditions or situations

Think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Common triggers might include:

• A work or school presentation
• A crisis at work or home

2. Become aware of thoughts and beliefs

Once you’ve identified troubling situations, pay attention to your thoughts about them. This includes what you tell yourself (self-talk) and your interpretation of what the situation means.

3. Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking

Your initial thoughts might not be the only way to view a situation — so test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether other explanations for the situation might be plausible.

4. Adjust your thoughts and beliefs

Now replace negative or inaccurate thoughts with accurate, constructive thoughts. Try these strategies:

• Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Instead of thinking your presentation won’t go well, try telling yourself things such as, “Even though it’s tough, I can handle this situation.”
• Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes — and mistakes aren’t permanent reflections on you as a person. They’re isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.”
• Avoid ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you might be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your thoughts can lead to more realistic expectations.
• Focus on the positive. Think about the parts of your life that work well. Consider the skills you’ve used to cope with challenging situations.
• Consider what you’ve learned. If it was a negative experience, what might you do differently the next time to create a more positive outcome?

1. Identify troubling conditions or situations

Again, think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Once you’ve identified troubling situations, pay attention to your thoughts about them.

2. Step back from your thoughts

Repeat your negative thoughts many times or write them down in an unusual way, such as with your monodominant hand. Imagine seeing your negative thoughts written on different objects. You might even sing a song about them in your mind.

These exercises can help you take a step back from thoughts and beliefs that are often automatic and observe them. Instead of trying to change your thoughts, distance yourself from your thoughts. Realize that they are nothing more or less than words.

3. Accept your thoughts

Instead of fighting, resisting or being overwhelmed by negative thoughts or feelings, accept them. You don’t have to like them, just allow yourself to feel them. Negative thoughts don’t need to be controlled, changed or acted upon. Aim to lessen the power of your negative thoughts and their influence on your behavior. That is why it is important to boost your self-esteem and take necessary steps to feel better.

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